By Pia Ersfeld
. My mother calls. I have a migraine. Bad combination. We talk anyway. Well, she talks. But whatever. Her hairdresser has a friend whose sister-in-law also has migraines. And the sister-in-law of my mother's hairdresser's friend got rid of them with an apple diet (the migraine, not the hairdresser). Shouldn't I try that too, instead of all the medication? I love that undertone. And unsolicited therapy suggestions.
Almost every day someone tells me about pain therapy. Snake venom has even been suggested – then I'd be dead, but at least nothing would hurt anymore. Chakra dancing – anywhere. Or mantra chanting. Try doing that in a rented apartment! You'd be committed immediately.
What good will that do?
So, today it's the apple diet. Sounds more appetizing than the Mayr migraine cure with its dry bread rolls. Apple pie, applesauce, apple juice. Delicious! I don't quite understand how it works, though. Doesn't that just lead to a good case of diarrhea? Presumably, the idea is that the migraine will disappear into the sewer system thanks to the suction of the irritated intestines.
“Mom, I had brain tumor surgery. This isn’t a normal migraine for me.” “Oh, child,” says Mom. In my second-favorite tone. “I’ll get you the book about it.”
I take a deep breath in and slowly exhale. She only wants what's best for me.
I'm almost there, honestly, when it comes to founding a library for pain therapy.
If you constantly have headaches, you learn that happiness is the absence of pain. And of well-meaning lectures.
Good advice everywhere
“Head?” a woman yelled at me two days later as I sat on the tram, looking pained. Her hearing aid was probably lounging on her sofa at home. I nodded. “Uuuh,” she threw her hands up in the air. “I know that feeling.” Please, no, I thought. “I can’t stand anything loud.” Me neither.
She leaned forward and raised the volume by 30 decibels. “Healing stones, I tell you.” My remaining facial expression was skeptical. “They look strange, but they work! Just put two in a carafe. You can refill it whenever you want.” Knowing myself, I'll drink them too. Then I'll have one more problem: bladder stones or something.
What exactly is written on my forehead when I have a migraine? “Please give me the rest by describing your pain experiences to me in detail right here and now. Leave nothing out! Also, quote articles from 'Woman Without a Heart'. In full – including the stairlift advertisement, please.”
Perhaps I should get the following tattooed on my forehead: “Thank you so much for every tip – that you keep from me.”
With kind permission of Pia Ersfeld
More wonderful experiences can be found on her blog “Frau E. noted…”
Very humorous and nicely written… (-; I think if you're going to listen to advice, it should come from people who have had positive experiences themselves. Just a few days ago, I heard from a young woman that singing helps her with her migraines! It's probably like with many other ailments; everyone simply has their own way and has to find out for themselves what works. So never stop trying things out.
Dear Anika,
unfortunately, I haven't thought to check here for new comments in ages... ;-)
Please excuse my late reply!
It's truly reassuring to read that even "insiders" experience negative aspects of the system and receive unwise advice.
As a non-medical professional, one is often left speechless by incompetent doctors who refuse to admit their lack of knowledge and instead send you home burdened with a demonstrably ineffective treatment option.
Please feel free to link to the text or my blog anytime. I'm grateful to everyone who learns about our daily struggles with migraines!
Warm regards to the big city from
Pia Ersfeld
Thank you so much for this article!
It really resonated with me, and I just had a good laugh.
I'll print it out and, if that's alright, share the link with friends.
I'm "lucky" enough that both my parents suffer from migraines, although not as frequently as I do (heredity strikes again). Because of this, I never received similar advice from my immediate family.
I have many friends who work in the medical field, so it didn't come from them either.
However, I could tell you a thing or two about advice from my or my mother's wider circle of acquaintances.
From an Indian faith healer in London, to acupressure from a nun (which we even tried – before going to the pain clinic!), to homeopathy from THE ONE HEALER – apparently, others have completely different opinions, to a low-carb diet recommendation from a well-known German migraine practice with several practitioners and its own clinic – it was all there.
What I find truly appalling is that this dubious advice isn't just given by "well-meaning" laypeople, but also by "experts" like neurologists and psychologists.
Yes, I'm a "traitor to my own kind"—because I've been appalled in recent years by how incompetent many colleagues are.
If I didn't work in the medical field myself (albeit in a different role and specialty), I would have been the victim of malpractice, insurance fraud (false diagnoses to prescribe off-label medications without potentially having to provide justification to the statutory health insurance company, misjudgments of side effects, keyword: medication-induced depression), and so on and so forth
—this is getting a bit long-winded—I've just gotten carried away!
With warmest greetings from a large city in Germany,
Anika G.
Dear Mr. Müller, dear Beate and dear Mr. Wirz,
I am very pleased that you enjoyed my text and that you even forwarded it!!
We people with chronic pain have no voice: our suffering is invisible, especially since we are invisible in our suffering. For in those hours and days, we lie alone in a darkened room.
When my trigeminal nerve is raging in my forehead for so many days without a break, like now in this sweltering weather, I don't notice my sense of humor anymore.
But I think it'll show up again eventually... ;-)
Until then, I wish you all pain-free or even pain-free days!!
Kind regards from Pia Ersfeld
Good day,
This article really resonates with me. Even as a pain specialist, I'm constantly confronted with the most absurd treatment suggestions. I'm going to print it out and put it in the pain clinic at our hospital. Good intentions don't always lead to good outcomes. Best regards and all the best, S. Wirz
Dear Ms. Ersfeld,
I find it wonderful that you haven't lost your sense of humor despite the often unbearable pain. I don't have migraines, but rather hemicrania continua, which is no less amusing, as it involves constant pain. The real challenge is hoping for understanding from those around you, since you often don't see how much you're suffering. Or rather, you tend to hide it or don't like to talk about it openly.
I wish you peaceful and pain-free, or at least low-pain, days.
, Beate
Hello Ms. Ersfeld,
thank you so much! I laughed so hard because I have the same tattoo on my forehead. I'll pass your story on to a few friendly people who might be giving me tips. I'm curious to see if they find it funny too.
Best regards,
V. Müller
Dear Mr. Judge,
Now, conversely, your email touches me!
Thank you for your kind words!
I'm sure you're also affected, if you're here, then you know our suffering.
I wish you many pain-free days without stupid comments from others!
Warmest greetings from
Pia Ersfeld
Dear Ms. Ersfeld,
viewed with humor – absolutely, whenever and wherever possible.
I even chuckled while reading it – and that's always a good thing, we laugh far too little!
Then I wanted to read your article aloud to someone and realized that I was so moved by your words that I would probably start crying while reading it. So I've now printed out the article and will pass it on.
Your article is truly touching! Thank you for that :-)
Hello, dear Mrs. F.,
I'm glad the text was able to distract you a little from your migraine!! ;-)
There isn't a book yet, but in the small, clear moments that migraines and mastocytosis currently allow me, I will continue to write on my blog.
Get well soon!
Wonderful… despite having a (soon-to-be-receding) migraine, I was able to laugh, and for that (brief) moment the pain was truly more bearable… does that mean all I need is Ms. Ersfeld's book, her blog, or her own uplifting “stories”? I'll start with the blog….